I’ve had a remarkable couple of days – I’ve been braver and warmer and more open to new people and new experiences than usual, and it makes me happy to feel like I’m making progress. And then this morning I woke up with the panicked and stifling thought: “Who do you think you are? Don’t you see how stupid and earnest and ridiculous you are? You do everything wrong! Did you really think you could escape from YOU?”
When that voice speaks, it’s devastating. It sounds so much like truth.
But then I closed my eyes, denied those thoughts and decided not to go down that path. There is nothing there but suffering. I may not be perfect, but I’d rather be happy with what I am than continually denouncing myself for what I’m not.